When You Don’t Fit the Box Anymore

When You Don’t Fit the Box Anymore

One of the hardest parts of grieving a child—besides the aching absence—is the way everything around you keeps asking you to be who you were before.

Before the hospital stay.
Before the accident.
Before the diagnosis.
Before the funeral.

But when you’ve buried your baby—whether you knew them for years, days, or carried them in your womb—your life no longer fits in the world you once knew. And most of the world doesn’t know what to do with that kind of grief. So we learn to shrink ourselves, hide the pain, or smile to make others comfortable.

It’s no wonder so many bereaved moms feel like they’re living in dissonance.

At Bereaved Together, we hear it all the time:
“I don’t belong in my church anymore.”
“My friends have moved on. I didn’t.”
“People look at me like I’m broken, or worse—like my grief is contagious.”
“I don’t fit anywhere.”

The truth is, you’re not the one who’s broken. The box is.

Grief changed you. That’s not failure—it’s faithfulness to the love you carry for your child. You’re not failing at life after loss; you’re brave enough to live it honestly.

There’s a line from the song You Make Me Brave that we played at our Bereaved Mother’s Conference this year that still rings in our ears:

“No fear can hinder now the promises You’ve made.”

That one line felt like a lifeline.

Because if we’re being honest? Fear does show up—especially after child loss. Fear of being misunderstood. Fear of being judged. Fear of being forgotten. Fear of losing everything and everyone else we love.

But even in the fear, God’s promises hold.
Even in the isolation, Christ reaches.
Even in the dissonance, love speaks louder.

Some of us have walked away from places that once felt like home—churches, friend groups, workplaces—because the box we were expected to fit in couldn’t hold our grief. It couldn’t hold the truth that we are forever changed. And yet, we’re still here. Loving. Hoping. Trying.

That kind of courage isn’t loud. It’s quiet, daily, gritty BRAVE.

We’re not here to tell you to put yourself back together. We’re here to remind you that you still belong—even if no one else understands your grief, your faith, or your story. Christ does. And so do we.

At Bereaved Together, we believe there's no one way to grieve. No timeline. No need to pretend. And no shame in carrying love that others can't see.

We’ve met too many moms who thought they were the only one who didn’t fit. The only one whose grief made people uncomfortable. The only one who questioned whether there was still a place for them in the world—or even in their faith.

But sister, you're not alone.

You're part of a beautifully BRAVE community that understands.

We are the moms who light candles and speak names and cry on anniversaries.
We are the moms who walk into church with broken hearts and still believe in the goodness of God.
We are the moms who aren’t afraid to say: I don’t fit anymore. But I still belong.

If you’re feeling the dissonance of life after loss—the inner tug-of-war between who you were and who you are now—we see you.

And we’re holding space for you here.

Because even when grief changes everything, the promises of Christ remain unshaken.

Join us.

Our BRAVE Moves monthly grief wellness gatherings begin June 2025 and take place on the last Monday evening of every month. These sacred spaces are designed just for bereaved moms—to move, reflect, journal, and just be together in the fullness of who we are now and who we are rebuilding to be. You don’t need to fit a mold. Just come as you are.

Because together, we are BRAVE.

#bravetogether #BRAVEmoves #bereavedmoms